Cordelia - The Musical

This is based on the works of Lois McMaster Bujold, and centers around Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan. It uses some of the music writen by Andrew Lloyd Webber. The original idea was by Patricia Mathews. It is currently under developement and may change without notice.


Oh, What a Pagent by Elizabeth Celeste

This is assuming this is the funeral of Prince Serg. If you do Ezar, it's a little different)

Oh, what a Pageant.

Oh what a circus, oh what a show
Barryar has gone to town
Over the death of a sadist called Prince Serg
We've all gone crazy
Mourning all day and mourning all nigh
Falling over ourselves to get all the misery right

Oh what an exit, that's how to go
When they're ringing your curtain down
Demand to be blown up like Prince Serg

It's quite an sunset
And good for the planet in a quite direct way
We've made the front line of the galaxy's newsvid's today

But who is this Butcher Serg?
Why all the howling, hyseterical sorrow?
We knew this monster who lived among us
How will we ever get by without him?

He had his moments, he had some style
The best show in town was the crowd
Outside the castle, crying "Don't Hang"
But that's all gone now
As soon as the smoke from the funeral clears
We're all gonna see and how, he was killing for years

(Crowd) - Note, not changed, I don't know latin- sombody is welcome to fix
Salve regina mater misericordiae
Vita dulcedo et spes nostra
Salve salve regina
Ad te clamamus exules filii Eva
Ad te suspriamus gementes et flentes
Oclemens o pia

You let down your people Serg
You were supposed to have been Emperor
That's all they wanted, not much to ask for.
But in the end you would not deliver

(Note- suddenly this is a loud disco tune, at this part. No I'm not kidding)
Sing you fools, but you got it wrong
Enjoy your prayers, but you it won't go on
Your Prince is dead, your King is through
Be glad he's not coming back for you

Show business kept us all alive
Since the he got his gutting knives
But the prince has gone, the glamour's worn thin
That's a pretty bad state for a state to be in

Instead of government we had a sade
Instead of ideas, a prima donna's raid
Instead of help we were given a ship
It didn't do much, but it did it loud

Sing you fools, but you got it wrong
Enjoy your prayers because it won't go on
Your Prince is dead, your King is through
Be glad he's not coming back for you

(Crowd) *Also unchanged latin
Salve regina mater misericordiae
Vita dulcedo et spes nostra
Salve salve regina Peron
Ad te clamamus exules filii Eva
Ad te sispiramus gementes et flented
O clemens o pia

Don't cry for me Barryar
For I am outstanding, important
And a martyar deserving of all
Unless you all are, and I doubt you are
So share my glory, so share my coffin
So share my glory, so share my coffin

It's our salvation too.

Oh, Elizabeth, this is wonderful! No, I think Emperor Ezar's death will be done quite differently: it will be when he hands over the reins of power to Aral with "You'd be surprisingly good for us." And a reprise of "Oh, what a pageant" for Cordelia's departure for Beta colony with Mark Pierre singing "As soon as the smoke from the launching pad clears, we're all going to find out how...she ran Barrayar for years!" Pat Mathews

On this world claimed by two great powers by Stephanie Folse

On this world claimed by two great powers

(half-spoken, half-sung by Mark Pierre)

Captain Naismith was in charge of the survey
The Betan government wanted
No disruptors, no arcs, no backup, just stunners
Munitions aren't needed on a routine mission

As this Barrayaran found out
when he took her prisoner...

Captain Aral Vorkosigan:
who has the distinction
of being the worst
reputed of all
the Barrayarans...

(sung by Aral)
On this world claimed by two great powers,
you and I are enemies.
Since there is none that I may trust,
You will come with me.

(sung by Cordelia)
In the mess of this pointless war,
unexpected unions arise
Since otherwise we have no choice,
You and I shall ally.

(Cordelia, musing)
I never dreamed what I am would love such a man,
but now I feel something new.
I had no more love 'til today, it was hidden away,
I am falling for you.

[alternate line: "I never dreamed blue cheese could be as awful as this,
but now I know that it can."]

(Aral, musing also)
I was surrounded by sedition, you I had faith in
I was again a man.
On that disputed world where you and I were hurled,
my dear Captain.

(sung by both)
On this world claimed by two great powers
you and I are enemies.
But since there is none that we may trust,
You shall stay with me.

New Job for Aral by Patricia Mathews
The tune is "A New Argentina" from EVITA by Andrew Lloyd Webber

New Job for Aral

"Then again we could be foolish
not to quit while we're ahead
For distance can be healthy
If we go far
All exiles are distinguished
More important - they're not dead!
We could find job satisfaction on Sergyar.

This is crazy, defeatist talk
Why commit professional suicide
There's not call for any action at all
When we have Gregor on our side.

It doesn't matter what the Vor lords think
Our nation's leaders are a tiny few
There's only sixty of them anyway
What are sixty next to millions who
Are looking to you?

TOGETHER: A new job for Aral, a new life about to begin
A new job for Aral, on Sergyar together
And no worm plague within!

Let's hear it for the Regent's Wife by Pat Mathews

Let's hear it for the Regent's Wife

Ezar's fallen to the charms of Cordelia!
He really likes her very much
She's a Betan madonna with a golden touch
She makes him think she'd make a good Regent's lady
- but if you're saner than Ges Vorrutyer, that's not hard!
Let's hear it for the Regent's wife!
She's had an incredible success
They we're quite sure, would Cordelia work out
But the answer is yes ...

Everywhere she goes, the same
You should have heard them call her name
And who could underestimate the Betan, now!

Hate to spolit your lovely fairy story
But the news from Piotr's not so good
She hasn't won him over like she hoped she would
Piotr thinks she should have had an abortion!
And that she's a dangerous radical - can't think why!

(Cordelia) -
Did you hear that? He called Miles a mutant!
Insulting my little boy!
(Piotr) -
An honest mistake, daughter-in-law
If I'd been a jelly-boned cripple
They'd call me that, too!

Let's hear it for the Regent's Wife,
She's been an incredible success
We weren't quite sure would Cordlia work out
But the answer is yes .... well, a qualified yes..???

Who the hell does Vordarian think he is?
Trying to break of my marriage just like this?
Aral's past affairs are none of anyone's business!

Waltz for Mark and Miles by Elizabeth Celeste

This was origionally the Waltz for Che and Eva. Mark gets to be Che. Leaving Miles as Madonna, but hey, he's the one who reinvented himself several times and people over.

Setting: End of Brothers in Arms. Mark and Miles Mirror Dance through the Tunnels on Earth, the Dendarri ships, the Vorkorsigan House, the Komarr of Ser Galen, and the Dendarrii Mountains. As they go through, the costumes shift- Barryar Lutenint, Dendarrii Admiral, Vorkorsigan House and Earth Civillian all shift across the both of them (always dressed differnt), with each set change.

Waltz for Mark and Miles

Tell me before I waltz out of your life
Before turning my back on the past
Forgive my impertinent behavior
But how long do you think this pantomime can last?
Tell me before I tube off in the sunset
There's one thing I never got clear
How can you claim you are Naismith
When those who oppose you are Ceta's
or Jackson's, or simply Barryan?

Tell me before you get onto your lift
Before joining the forgotten brigade
How can one person like me, say,
Help you find what ever identity you crave?
Tell me before you get lost on the planet
just what you expect me to do
I don't care what the Vor society say
I'm not in business for them
But to give my only little brother
a family adivice or two

(Mark and Miles)
There is evil, ever around
Fundamental system of government
like Jackson's Whole

So what are your chances of family acceptance?
I'd say high
Better to try the identity given
Then to lose as no one

Tell me before I seek Vorkorsigans
And thereby restore self as me
How can you be so damn clever
To pull of this caper, and every one other
To play the impossible dream?

Allow me to help you seek future family
And maybe an education, careers
But first tell me who'd be delighted
If I said you'd take on the space's greatest problems
From body transfers to cloning, House Baraputra
Baron Ryoval's tears

(Mark and Miles)
There is evil, ever around
Fundamental system of government
like Jackson's Whole.

So go if you're able into the Vorkorsigan stable,
and stay there
Whip up you're fate in a well disposed state
But don't leave, Pierre
You're Mark Pierre here

Oh what I'd give not to be Miles,
but the responsiblity interferes
Everyday more, O my Barryar
What is the good of the strongest fleet
With a game that's falling apart?
A serious issue, I hope you know that.

Oh, and this is an alternate lyric, when I forgot who was playing who. For somereason, I think they would fight over getting to be Banderas. Che was much more the Knight Errant of Miles, then the Social Eva of Mark. But the lyrics didn't work that way.

So what are my chances of honest acceptance?
I'd say low
Better to go find my own identity
Then to accept one that's given

More CORDELIA! the musical

Innovations kept roaring in on every side
Cordelia's new reforms reached out and they reached wide
Now, you may have preferred things to be just the way they were!
But that's not the point, my friend
When progressives are running things, you'd better duck
Sticking with the old ways won't bring you good luck
Cordelia's innovations benefit middle classes and poor
Never been a lady cares as much as out Lady V!

Changing, changing, changing
Everybody's changing
Changing faster every year
(every year, each year!)

Would you like to earn a college education?
Build a dam and a lake where Vor lords may vacation
Cordelia's blessed service contract will make your dreams come true
Here's all you have to do
Write your name on a contract for ten years or five
Serve her well in the backwoods - trying to survive
Wasn't there a TV show about a doctor who did that?
Never been a misfit like a city boy back of beyond!

And here is just another Evita revision, by Elizabeth Celeste

In this one, I think Cavillo may make her musical debut.

Eva and Magaldi/ Eva Beware of the City = Cavillo and Gregor.


To think that a man as important as you are
Could love a poor little nothing like me


I wanna be a part of Barryaar, Empty Throne.

(Ranger Chorus)
She want's to be a part of Barryar, Empty Throne.

(Mark Pierre)
Just listen to that, she's on to you King Gregor
I'd get out while you can

It's happend at last, I'm starting to get started
I'm moving out with my man

Now Cavi don't get carried away

Monotony past, mercenary departed
I could be very fond, of the back of beyond

Don't hear words that I didn't say

(Ranger Chorus)
What's that? You'd desert the girl you love?

The girl I love?
What are you talking about?

(Ranger Chorus)
She really brightend up your out-of-town employment
She gave you all she had, you were not in her contract
You must be quite relieved that no on's told the Cetagandans', so far

I wanna be a part of Barryar, Empty Throne
Would I have saved you,
If I hadn't thought, if I hadn't known
We would stay together

(Miles Naismith)
Seem's to me there's no point in resisting
She's made up her mind, she might shoot
Why don't you let Simon Illyan discover her
The Dendarrii can always ransom you

Barryar can be paradise for those who have the caste
The Vor and the connections, what you need to make a splash
The likes of you get sent to Alys Vorpatril for the class
If you were Vor or beaurocratic caste

Screw the beaurocratic classes! I will never accept them!
I've been subjected to them
And we were kept out of touch, the Rangers to form their own funeral

(Miles Naismith)
Do all you're drunken falls give you this much trouble?

Cavillo beware of the empire
It's hungry and cold, can't be contreolled, it is mad
Those who are fools are swallowed up whole
And those who are not become what they should not become
Changed, in short, they go Vor

Vor is good for me
I'm bored, so charged, and so ignored
I've only been employed, Ranger leader
Ships jump out of here, so why oh why oh why the hell can't I?
I only want variety, of leadership of society


Five years from now you can come back
And finally say, "The Rangers will stay in the sector"
But you'll look at me with a Betan's eyes
The horrible empire, the bad evil empire
A fantasy long since put down

All you've done to me, was that a Ranger's fantasy?
I played you're Vorish games alright, didn't I?
I already know the Ceta's, how the evil bad empire feels and looks
I saved you last night, didn't I?
I'm gonna be a part of Barryar, Empty Throne

(Cavillo and Ranger Chorus)
She's gonna be a part of Barryar, Empty Throne

Cavi beware your ambition
It's hungry and cold, cna't be controlled, will run wild
This in a man is danger enough, but you are a woman
Not only a woman, but a criminal not nearly a Vor
And whatever you say, I'd rather you not steal me away

Cordelia! - The Musical is © 1997-98 the individual authors, with thanks to the LOIS-BUJOLD Mailing List.

Webpage created by Michael Bernardi

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Last updated: November 15th 2002